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Marrying an Older Women? |
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Written by Rabbi Shlomo Z
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 Q: There is a big stigma in our community in regards to marrying an older women or even a girl about the same age. From a Jewish point of view, what is the opinion on this?
Rabbi Shlomo Z: In Iran the commonly held idea was that the woman should be several years younger. One reason for thisthat the husband would financialy take care of the wife and the wife would take after the physical care of the husband. If the couple were the same age and they grew old, neither could do their job. Although this is what worked back then in Iran, nowadays things have changed drastically.
I would say that if everything else between a couple is compatible and the only issue is that she is a bit older or the same age, then it’s really not a big deal and the couple should not make it into one. What matters is that the two respect each other, if that is in place then there is no problem if she is a bit older. The critical issue is that the couple must understand each other, communicate effectively, and respect one another. These are the most important factors in a successful marriage. The problem arises when one partner thinks that s/he is better than the other because of age or anything else, the relationship is greatly jeopardized. { Listen to Answer  } |
Comments
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Yes that may work in MOST cases but this IS a new day and age and the young women of today are not like the young women of generations past. They DON'T have to grow up as fast because they are not taught from early age how to be a wife or mother because a lot of these YOUNGER women are getting married Late also. They are having careers and they are marrying and having children later also. Also note that everyone is NOT orthodox and don't plan on having large families especially well educated Jews in America. So what you are saying is that Older women who are NOT Under 35 should be just pushed by the wayside because younger women might give them large families???? So what you are saying Ben Rabizedah is that you are saying that a woman's worth is only deemed good as to how many children she will bear. Let me tell you something a lot of younger women have fertility problems also. And I see a LOT of older women having children in the 30's and 40's WITHOUT the help of invitro. And even IF a man marries someone closer to his age remember that women usually outlive men by 8 years anyway even if they ARE the same age. It is sad when I see men in ther 40's looking for women that are 20 years younger then they are. It is a pitiful shame. I wonder is it a control factor or you just cannot DEAL with a woman that is mature and has her head together and a woman that is secure in herself. I guess that is too hard for a lot me men to handle so they run after very young girls so they don't have to actually have a conversation???.
Older women 35-45 can STILL have children some with help and many other without although it is NOT recommeded after age 45 but hey look at Sarah the Abraham leave her because she was older and did NOT give him Children??? Even though SHE pushed him to Hagar. What if the man is close to 50 so that means he will push aside ALL The lovely women that are older for a 20 year old? Men wake up?
Posted by Almaz, on Sunday, 13 August 2006 at 11:12
The article states that nowadays things have changed drastically. But what exactly has changed? Couldn't the factors that have caused these changes be directly related to assimilation into american culture? The exact things much of this website is against? I also dont think large age differences are good. It would be great if everyone got married young... but when persian guys in the 30-35 range finally get looked at seriously for the first time by women who are ready to date - I am not sure they should focus on older women. It's important to want to have a large family and not feel like you have to rush into things. A younger wife allows for this. And if a guys first legitimate chance at marriage comes at those ages - it is proper to expect to date and marry someone younger.
Posted by Ben Rabizadeh, on Sunday, 22 January 2006 at 11:50
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