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The Laws of Honoring Parents? |
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Written by Rav David Yossef
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Q: I know we are comanded to honor our parents, in practicality what does that actually mean? What actions are associated with this Misvah? One must stand when his father or mother enters the room, and he must remain standing until the parent sits down. The obligation to stand applies once one can see his parent from the distance. Although Rav Haim Ben Atar rules leniently in this regard, that one must stand only when his parent comes within four cubits, other authorities disagree and require standing even upon seeing one's parent from a distance.
Based on the Rulings of Rishon Lesiyon Hacham Ovadia Yossef shlit"a
(Our Worldwide Sephardic Jewish Leader)
 The Gemara in Kiddushin (31a) tells that when Rav Yossef, who was blind, heard his mother's footsteps, he would say, "Let me stand in respect of the Shechinah," referring to the fact that honoring one's parents is equivalent to honoring the Shechinah (Kiddushin 30b). Even of one's parents act inappropriately towards him, he should nevertheless not raise his voice at them, Heaven forbid. Rather, he should present his case humbly and with reverence. One who restrains his mouth during an argument, who remains silent and accepts the other's insults, the entire world is said to exist on his account. Even despising one's parents in his heart, while outwardly respecting them, constitutes a violation. One must find a favorable quality of his parents and focus on that characteristic. Preferably, of course, one should try his utmost to speak with them kindly and with sensitivity, and he will then be deserving of blessing. In fact, perhaps specifically by honoring them and seeking to satisfy their wishes they will come to realize the beauty and pleasantness of the Torah.
------ This was adapted from PENINEI YOSSEF - A Treasury of Halachot and Customs of Israel
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