Almost all of the functions in your body are controlled by hormones. In the same way that you can not and should not try to alter processes such as growth and metabolism, sexuality is not something you should mess with either. By the time puberty is over in the late teens, there is nothing you could do to stop the train from moving full speed ahead.

Even according to Jewish traditions, it is considered a sin to postpone marriage beyond a certain age. Nevertheless, our society has made it commonplace for people to get married at an age way beyond the boundaries of biology and religion. The most popular excuses used are “I want to finish school” or “I can’t support a family right now.” In the mean time, guys and gals simply cannot put a hold on their hormones. The consequences being that people either spend their years in sad loneliness or have intimate relations and unforgettable experiences out of wedlock.*

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Later, when they are finally done with undergraduate school, graduate school, and have a small fortune, they expect to find someone who is going to be their soul mate. What we are not realizing is that by this time, its too late. You have already lost the opportunity to be young with the person whom you will spend the rest of your life with. The memories that you have already made, or hoped to make, have been forfeited to time and will eventually disappear. This is one of the biggest problems in our community because, to put it simply, people are giving up their lives when they can’t deal with their hormones in the proper way. There is only one remedy to this problem. We need to give proper respect to the chemicals in our bodies and the desires in our heads by getting married early. We should actively pursue a lifestyle that promotes marriage. This means taking more responsibilities for our lives, leaving home before the age of thirty-three, and dating for the sake of marriage, not physical attraction. Don’t mess with our religious traditions. Don’t mess with biology. Don’t mess around!

*Helen Fisher of Rutgers University has identified three stages of love that are driven by the actions of hormones. Lust responds mainly -- in both sexes -- to testosterone. Attraction is marked by high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine norepinehprine (adrenaline), the heart-pumping hormone used to respond to emergencies, and low levels of serotonin, another major neurotransmitter. Attachment is associated with oxytocin, a hormone released during childbirth and nursing, and vasopressin, or anti-diuresis hormone

-Daniel Eliav was the former president of Persian American Jewish Organization (PAJO). He recentlly graduated with a B.A. from UCLA and is planning on attending medical school.