One is through fear, and the other love. We search our whole lives to find the balance between the two, but fear must come before love. One cannot love something he does not respect, or hold a high regard for. One cannot love something unless he is willing to fight for it. When we received the torah on Mount Sinai, we promised Hashem that “we would do and then we would hear.” We had the fear to have faith, and then the love to internalize and live the words of truth that Hashem blessed to us. During the High Holiday time, we concentrate on our respect for Hashem, and His Kingship. We focus on refining ourselves and the world through Hashem’s Torah. Most importantly we see how much we are not perfect, where we fall short, where we are weak. We reflect on finding the strength to be more, we cry tears of lost potential and regret the damage that we have done along the way. But it is those very weaknesses that are our biggest strengths. Hashem literally gives us the deepest privilege and opportunity to become angles.

      In Parashat Shoftim, one of the laws that Hashem commands to us, is that in the time of war, we must not cut down the fruit trees. It seems like an interesting law. Usually when people take over land they start building and rebuilding, trying to develop the potential of the land. Hashem says yes do so, but do not cut the life out of it. Do not cut down the trees. A Man represents a tree, the potential of life, the potential to grow, and to plant seeds of truth, holiness, faith and purity etc. We are to reproduce that life, developing, nurturing, and sustaining purpose and integrity. We pray that all of these contributions lead to fruition. We cultivate the roots of our heritage, and run them deep into our culture, nurturing our future, and our future generations. Then and only then can we truly reap the fruits of our labors. Sometimes even in the times when a tree looks dead, like in the dead cold of winter, it is still so alive. Break off a twig, break it in half and you can see green inside. It’s alive! We are alive! Even in our darkest moments. It seems like a beautiful idea, because well it very much is. It is the purpose of creation. Hashem continually gives us the chance for rebirth, to exist, to really live up to that potential of infusing those roots so deep from the beginning with the proper nutrients to develop into our fullest potential. All of this, to only continue life and fulfill the Almighty’s will. Suddenly freedom! To be a Jew, to be proud, to live and pass on life. Hashem is renewing our existence every second. “Return to who you are, return to what you are, return to who you are born and reborn again…”

      Did you ever stop and watch a bumble bee? I was looking in my garden the other day and I was watching a bumble bee fly freely from one flower to the next. All I could think was, wow, that bumble bee seems to dance a dance of clarity and true clear meaning in his little life. The bee is born knowing his exact purpose in the world. How is it that there are so many confused people in the world not knowing what their purpose in life is, but this little bumble bee knows exactly it’s task? All bumble bees seem to have the same instinct to collect pollen, and bring it back to their hives and make honey for nutrients, for our apples on Rosh HashanaJ, sustenance, and life. Some of us human beings walk around life like there is nothing to do, like life is just a free ride. Like there is nothing to fix. We waste a lot of time saying that we want to go off and “find ourselves.” But we are right here! There is no reason for us to have an identity crisis. The other nations recognize us! Why don’t we recognize ourselves? We are part of a people that is so great and powerful, if we’d only recognize our true potential, and know what an impact and responsibility we have for the world.

    Our honey is the Torah, the sweet guide to life. The Jews out of all of the nations should know exactly what and who they are, where they came from, and where they are going. Hashem told us loud and clear at Mount Sinai, what we are here for, and we were all there to see it and hear it, and yet, we continue to walk around like we don’t have a job to do. Every time we look around we see destruction in big and small ways. How can we expect the rest of the world to get their act together, if we, G-d’s first born, the leaders, can’t or refuse to get our act together? We are the leaders and the lights unto the other nations, whether we like it or not. Maybe it’s time we live up to it? There may be other confused people in the world, but for the Jew, it cannot be, for we uphold the world. Hashem basically handed us the Torah on a silver platter, and many times we don’t even open it, or appreciate it,and walk around as if there is nothing to study, like there is no way to come closer to Hashem ,like there is no way out of confusion,despair, and darkness, like it’s got no instructions on how to save the world. We have developed such laziness and ignorance on our part. By doing this we are uprooting the trees that Hashem specifically commanded us not to uproot in this war of selfishness, egotism, ignorance, immorality, deceit, and mistrust. In a deeper sense we are uprooting ourselves, our future, and that of our future generations as well.The seeds of promise, hope, truth, and redemption lay unplanted or uprooted to wither away. A tree without the proper amount of sunlight, rain, soil, care, will surely die.

      Rosh Hashana is Adam and Chava’s birthday. In the sefer (book) of Bereshit, Adam sins by eating from the tree of knowledge. We think that only Adam and Chava were reprimanded for their sin. In fact everything that they touched turned to stone so to speak. It wasn’t only that Man’s punishment is to work the land by the sweat of his brow, and that woman would suffer labor pangs, but everything that was involved in the sin also suffered the consequences. The snake’s legs disappeared and dust became his sustenance. The ground grew thorns and thistles so that it would be difficult for man to work it.The tree which Adam ate from and sinned, it’s trunk that was once made of real, delicious, sweet fruit, turned into bark as Rashi explains. And we still suffer from these sins today. We see what one man, one bad decision can do, what, who, and how much it can affect everything. Our job is to get the world back to its original holy state, and it’s not too late. Hashem in His infinite mercy is giving you and me another chance at life!

      We must strengthen our fear if we are to strengthen our love for the Almighty. We have a chance to fix it. Teshuvah (repentance) isn’t always easy but it is necessary for the world’s existence. Growth comes with growing pains. If whatever you are doing doesn’t have the reflection of Hashem, then it’s the wrong thing. Be a source of life and rebuilding instead of a vehicle for death and destruction. Doing one mitzvah can bring Hashem’s presence into the world, and saving one life is like saving the whole world, forever.

Shira Des Moines is from Albany, New York, and for the past 2 yrs. has resided in Jerusalem, Israel. Shira is a graduate of Touro College, with a BA in English Literature and Communications. For the past 2 years she has accepted the opportunity to refine her Jewish education at She'arim College of Jewish Studies. As an active madricha (counselor), educator,and writer in various organizations such as, Aish Hatorah (Sephardic Fellowships), Sephardic Education Center, and The Heritage House, Shira contributes and invests emotionally, intellectually, educationally,and spiritually in outreaching to Jewish Youth around the world.