Men’s premarital physical encounters generally finds acceptance in our community, whereas women’s does not. We have to embrace our own traditional Jewish norms as our moral compass. We have to look for our own role models, But how?

We live in the world’s capital of show business, the source of the production and dissemination of inverse, trendy values and immoral physical encounters. We live in a time in which our youth’s role models are engaged in irresistible, destructive physical pleasures, mislabeled as “making love” – early on, at a time when young boys’ impressionable minds are exposed to horrific, graphic, pornographic depictions to a point where they are desensitized. Some fantasize, above all, to engage in every kind of physical act imaginable with their counterpart. Their impressionable minds full of heinous savageries, not only from the rich internet sites, TV but even through lyrics. Recent studies of MTV by Parent Television Counsel indicate that in every hour of its broadcasting there are countless sexually explicit incidents which promote rape and violence. It’s hard for our youth to resist the imagery bombarding their minds with every turn they make, affecting everyone they meet.

The girls, who prematurely become women, are propagated in videos or soundtracks that show vulgar fantasies of men’s sexual desires, men being worshiped by slave-like women who move their scantly covered bodies, desperately seeking to attract these men. It is tragic when reality begins to mirror these media depictions. The media sirens, and ever increasingly, our young ladies, cater to such physical desires to get the desperate attention they so seek, to give themselves false self-worth, but for a fleeing moment, so that they may be seen in the arms of an “able” macho-man.

So while may amongst us have role models who are illusive, shallow characters form TV series such as Sex and the City, OC, Friends, or the latest series, for others, in this very town, timeless biblical heroines are their true heroes. How blessed are we to have heroines such as Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Leah. What did they stand for and what are they glorified for? Do we know? Do we care in which glorious cultural and moral cradle we were reared in? We should! For if we don’t know where we are coming from, we won’t know its consistent path that may lead us to our blissful future. Our past norm, as perpetuated by our more observant brethren, may be the best blueprint to remedy and eradicate the inequities that dissuade the young from committing to marriage and transgressions that jeopardize their unions.

It’s important that our younger generation to seek, find, cultivate and follow our ancestor’s enlightening and liberating path. And the path to our treasure chest is not so far away.

It’s in our own religion’s back yard, we have to unlock it. We have to open it and examine its riches. To have a “jewelry expert, “ a Rabbi – a real Rabbi – to teach us the beauty of each piece, each word. We have to polish and adorn our soul with the words of our Torah.

In that tranquil journey of self discovery, in a soulful domain, when we will desire to give and not to get, when we will aspire to nurture, not to consume; we will see not with our eyes but with our minds and feel not with our bodies, but with our hearts, we will sense the presence of our soul-mate, our eternal one, to touch, embrace, and (re)unite with, joyfully, forever.